The dictionary is a tool that shows us how to pronounce words, and it will also offer ways to use words as nouns, adjectives or verbs, but we often have our own ways of processing words and getting them to mean what we want them to. Take the word forgive, it has a denotation, but we can give it our own connotation. In the dictionary forgive means to pardon, excuse or abandon the anger one has. The connotation of this word can come out quite differently.

What is a connotation? Well, it is the feeling you associate with a word and allow to be the meaning of the word for you. So if you look at the word forgive and think: peaceful living and a way to move forward, that is a connotation. It also means that you are more likely to forgive others for anything that they do to you without too much thought or hesitation. You know that doing so is better for you than holding on to resentment and anger. What if the connotation that comes to your mind is a little different, what if it goes like this: a feat of giving in, losing. That is exactly how I defined the word forgive, and when I tried to forgive others the denotation was never solidifying inside of me, my connotation was in the way.

It was this way for me way to long and I never realized how badly this was affecting me; I was being bruised over and over and did not see it. I was basically going rounds with myself, two of me in a boxing ring. The denotation I knew, and the connotation I lived. Time came for the referee to call the match, and there was only one capable to take my warring emotions on. His name is God. He caused me to land on the scripture that called my situation out clearly after I had one of my faux forgiveness episodes. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 KJV

God had spoken! Not being able to forgive or live the denotation of forgive was not my real situation, the real situation was that I needed to realize that forgiveness from God is what was going to cause me to live in this life, because I was not really living, and for my soul’s eternal life. I also had to understand that I was not losing or giving up by offering a pardon to others because vengeance was never mines to have or lose, it was God’s.

Now that I recognize that connotations can turn words into what we desire and that the outcome can be good or bad I just have to ask, are you living the denotations, positive connotations, or the negative connotations for your life’s vocabulary? You don’t have to tell me just think about it.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary 2013